Sunday, August 21, 2005

Redneck Fabulous

On August 13th I attended the wedding of Tena and Pete. Tena is my best friend Angie's sister, and I wasn't going to miss this wedding for the world. Oliver and I were "baby wranglers" for the event since Angie and Andy were in the wedding party and needed someone to watch Katie. When we arrived at Tena's house for pictures at 10:00 am, the bridesmaids were still getting ready and already drinking hard liquor. Soon the photos were completed, and Oliver and I headed out to the wedding site.

You would think that we drove Angie's car because we had the baby, but the real reason was that we needed a 4-wheel drive to get to the wedding site. The wedding took place on a ranch, and we had to drive over a couple hills on a nonexistent dirt road to get there. Another first for me was seeing people tailgating before the wedding started. I had never thought to do that before! Oliver and I carried Katie's stroller over to the hay bales and took our seats.

The ceremony started with a skit. Pete rode up on an ATV and gave a monologue about women, sarsaparilla, a baby being born, not getting trapped into marriage, and that there would be no wedding. He then took off over the hill. In the distance we saw a man on a horse (the best man) chasing after Pete. Unfortunately, he fell off the horse, which wasn't planned. However, Pete didn't get away because he was forced back to the aisle by the gun toting groomsmen and Tena's dad, who came down the hill to the sound of the dueling banjos from "Deliverance." I'm totally serious.

Next the bridesmaids entered on the back of a pick-up truck to Gretchen Wilson's "Redneck Woman." As they walked up the aisle, they handed off a Coors Light to the groomsmen and got their bouquets. The start of the ceremony was typical of most weddings. Before the vows, Pete took out a flask and had a drink, then Tena grabbed it out of his hands and took a drink herself. Claiming they were ready, the bridesmaid spoke up that they were not, and each of them grabbed a small bottle of liquor that they hid in their tops and took a drink! The handwritten vows were heartfelt and sincere. Then the ring bearer brought up the rings... well, was led up the aisle with the rings. Why? The ring bearer was a cow.

Angie, Katie, and Andy

At the end of the wedding everyone posed for pictures. Then we headed off to the reception at Kodiak Jack's- a honky tonk bar that most of the guests frequent. There was a buffet afternoon lunch, dancing, and cake. Unfortunately, the groomsmen thought it would be a good fashion statement to walk around in their vests with garter belts on their arms. The evening really kicked into gear when Kodiak's opened to the general public at 6:00 p.m. You see, Saturday is karaoke night, and the regulars were out in force. They were joined by a very drunk party guest who was doing interpretive dance to various numbers, much to our amusement. The "daisy dress lady" had been busy propositioning couples and trying to lure them back to her hotel room earlier. She was eventually removed from the premises. All in all, it was an entertaining and certainly original wedding day.

Non-Rednecks Nicole, Oliver, and Tenaya

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...